If I was an American...

If I was an American, I’d be a gun-toting, bible-thumping, Bourbon-swilling, pro-life, card-holding, Humvee-driving Republican.
I’d live in Texas and be best friends with Mel Gibson.
If I was an American I’d be white-collar on taxes and blue-collar on family.
I’d listen to Big and Rich and support the Green Bay Packers (so what if I live in Texas).
If I was an American, I’d be a dick-head that believed the rest of the world was just square, but mine was just perfectly round.
So, thank God I’m Indian, though I still like Big and Rich, and Mel Gibson.