Duck-ing Ganguly

What do you call an Indian playing a bouncer? A duck.
That is an original. Tell it, spread it, make it work.
So, it is with cricket that we are stuck for now.
Not players, but those who are entrusted with enhancing the television experience of watching a live cricket match.
Saurav Ganguly is the antithesis of three of the above – enhance, TV, experience.
As a former player he is supposed to give insight, anecdote, judgement and analysis. He offers none.
His is the classic commentary of platitudes.
He sounds as uptight as he looks on TV.
Lose him.

Off the pitch

It is better not to delve into India’s on-going cricket debacle in England.
Enter the commentators.
Harsha Bhogle is to commentating what an epidural is to a pregnant woman.
For the minimum of pain, you will eventually get maximum relief - which given India’s history in commentating means proper grammar, acceptable syntax and no misplaced ‘the’s’.
In India, often, if you speak English well, it is enough.
Bhogle, at best, is the classic after-dinner speaker.
Gentle on the ears, easy on the stomach.
At worst he is a like a hotel lobby painting – pleasant, but hardly anything worth remembering.