You heard it here first

These are mine (except for ‘experience’. It’s an amalgamation). If you hear these anywhere, remember who said it first.

* Life sucks, and we’re all standing in line for a blowjob.
* I’m alive by the grace of God, the patience of my family and the generosity of my friends.
* To love, life and friendship, more booze and more money (my perennial toast till 24, after which I disowned ‘money’)
* Sometimes you choose love, sometimes, love chooses you.
* Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want, but you get what you need.