Man United, Arsenal, Van Persie and evolution

I don’t like the Dutch football team, and generally, have never been a big fan of their players either.

Not Gullit, Van Basten or Rijkaard.

I have a natural dislike of Arsenal.

It’s genetic. Born a Red Devil, you just eat Gunners, like a lion naturally just eats deer (or anything else that gets in its way.)

The only Dutch player I took to was Ruud Van Niestelroy. He played for United.

Now, I have to deal with not only another Dutch player at United, but a Dutch and ex-Arsenal player.

Even the kings of the jungle must evolve.

Babes got game

If a picture paints a thousand then a cartoon easily does 99.
This one from The Sun captures not only the idiosyncrasies that make Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United; but the simple facts that drive its fanatic legions.
I have often been accused of being a poser for supporting United. Of choosing the club because they were a media-driven creation.
I have been accused of much worse in my life – and guilty of quite a lot of it, but it’s the United taunt I always defend most ardently.
I should just let Smalling and Jones do the defending.

Cleverley done, United

I eagerly awaited the papers today to see what sports desks had done with the juiciest name for a headline to hit the Premier League for some time.
‘Tom debuts Cleverley’.
Or, at least: ‘Fergie Cleverley destroys City’.
Alas, the papers were restrained.
Perhaps they did not want to be too clever so early in the season, given it was only the Community Shield.
But, mark my words, headlines will come.
On some Quark page in a newsroom somewhere in England, ‘Cleverley’s dumb move’, is already written and waiting.
What the headline will be is up to Tom now.

From the stands, Scholes still tackles for a booking

For Manchester United fans Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes were the last of the “clean” heroes.
No drugs, no affairs, no being a prick.
Then Giggs shamed us all.
Only Scholes remains.
On the pitch he played and off it he did not talk.
However, after being appointed Man Utd coach, he has spoken more than in his entire career.
His comments like his (in)famous tackles are likely to draw a booking.
But, in true Scholesy style, on the ball:
a) Arsenal are a joke
b) England does not win because players are more bothered about club than country

The great divorce

Now I know what my children would have felt if I had divorced my wife.
Me being Wayne Rooney, and my wife being Alex Ferguson.
They would have mourned the star going, but stayed with the coach.
I will not go with Wayne Rooney, but, boy, will I mourn his leaving.
I often joke that Fergie is unofficial godfather to all my children (this is with no disrespect to my kids’ official godfathers), but that he just does not know it yet.
He exudes trust, confidence, security and righteousness.
It’s what success – whether football or life – is built on.

Bring it on! (Oh dear)

I never thought I’d live to see the day when Manchester City was higher up the table than Manchester United.
As a modern United fan, I hate City. I would rather see Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool above United than City.
However, I did predict at the beginning of the season that this one was going to be difficult. A true test of faith and loyalty in the face of relentless disappointment and pain.
Quite like my life actually.
Nevertheless, if United have a record against you, this is the year to break it. Fulham, Everton, Sunderland, who is next?

Spectacular, spectacular

To get it spectacularly wrong, you must get it spectacularly right enough of times.
Once that adjective is your prerogative, there is no such thing as a minor goof-up. All one’s frailties are played in major keys by an orchestra of gleeful naysayers. The word really is schadenfraude.
Of course, I speak not entirely of myself, but to an extent of Dubai, and basically about Sir Alex Ferguson grand-god-father to my children (though he doesn’t know it) and the boss of my beloved Manchester United.
The team he picked to play Bayern Munich should have played Chelsea and vice-versa.

Be patient... genius at work

It does not bother me when Manchester United play well and lose (like against Chelsea), but it upsets when they play crap and lose (like against Liverpool).
This season I have no problem not winning anything. The more intriguing aspect is watching the creation of a new world-class team. The development of Anderson, Fletcher and Carrick. The coming of age of Johnny Evans. The breaking in of Valencia, Obertan, Macheda and Wellbeck. And finally, the genius of the old guard. I just can’t see Sir Alex retiring. Though it’s more likely his ref-rants will get him banned first.

Oh God, have mercy on us

You don’t question God. And at Old Trafford Sir Alex Fergusson is God. If I had the chance though, I would ask God (the overall one), whether lizards were really needed in the world? Like if I ever got the chance I would ask Sir Alex, IF HAVING BERBATOV IN THE TEAM IS A GOOD IDEA!?
But you don’t (get to) question God, do you? You just have faith. And hope. And love. And of these, love is the greatest. Oh, but I digress…
It is going to be a long season for Manchester United fans. Nervous and long.

I'm dreaming of a fourth title in a row

Bookies, as I have discovered after 20 years of mostly-losing bets, are rarely wrong. Therefore, it must worry the pragmatic United faithful that bookmakers had Chelsea as favourites to win this year’s Premier League.
It’s a reminder that loyalty to a football club can never be based only on championships won.
To be truly humbled, visit Old Trafford.
The stadium, the changing rooms… are all devoid of grandeur. They call it the Theatre of Dreams. However, it’s a theatre that provides the stage to fulfill your dream. It does not provide the dream. It’s Manchester United’s secret for success.

We are the champions, my friend!

Defensive generals, flying wingbacks, midfield marshalls and forward assassins.
That is what it takes to win a war. And 75,000 red devils inside Old Trafford, another 100,000 outside, me, Sir Alex Fergusson and God (not always in that order for the last two) will have to have got it wrong if Manchester United do not win the battle to be Premier League Champions today. Even if Arsenal win, victory will be delayed by a week. So let’s look ahead.
Sell Ronaldo, keep Tevez. Sell Berbatov, buy Benzema, or Kaka. Keep everyone else.
All together now… we are the champions…