Apocalypse? Now where's Leslie Nielsen

Despite the apocalyptic state of my life – it’s news when everything is normal – Leslie Nielsen could genuinely bring a smile to my face.
He was an actor stored away in my subconscious and on the rerun list of movie channels, to be brought up whenever an apocalyptic scenario beckoned.
Nielsen himself would have played out an apocalyptic scenario with that deadpan expression and sparkly blue eyes that made you believe, without a doubt, he saved the world without knowing it was coming to an end.
What makes us laugh? I’m not sure. But, who? Nielsen was one of ‘em.

A story of my life

A friend who knows me (perhaps too well) only recently caught Californication, watched three seasons back to back, calls me and tells me “your life so far is on tape”.
Flattered I asked him to let me have season one. And you would say I’m being over-indulgent and myopically self-centered – but it is quite the story of my life. At least the last 10 years.
And I quote from it
Mother: “Your father has to realize that actions have consequences. That he cannot say and do whatever he wants.”
Daughter: “Mom, bail him out. He’s too pretty for jail.”

China's most dangerous weapon

The Chinese have a new weapon. It’s not nuclear and it’s not their currency.
It’s their Opening Ceremony for international events.
If you are another country watching the opening of the Asian Games in Guangzhou, you got to be shitting bricks.
It made the word spectacular look ordinary.
And there is a certain bluster and in-your-face without trying too hard, about the way they go about organising this shit.
It will strike nothing but fear into other countries who dare hope to compete.
The Indian opening ceremony seems like some rich kid’s birthday party in comparison.
To China, then.

Me having Koffee with Karan

I watched the opening episode of Koffee with Karan with as much comfort as a constipated kid facing a full day of school.
Aishwarya has always left me unmoved – even in her swimsuit round at the Miss World contest.
She is so beautiful that one cannot relate to her - not at a carnal level, or a creative, intellectual or even movie star level.
Abhishek has done well to survive being the Big B’s son, but would you marry a girl Salman Khan used to bang?
The whole show is incestuous. Like watching a family make out… verbally.

The Harley factor

The Americans are pissed off that Harley is going to manufacture motorcycles in India. The website that employs me is buzzing with angst laden comments from people across the US about Harley’s foray into India.
All this in the middle of Obama’s visit to India, where Indians created jobs for Americans by signing billions of dollars in various deals.
That juxtaposition quite simply sums up why Obama will not be reelected. And why the Democrats do not really represent the heartland of America.
Also, it struck me that both senators of Indian descent are Republican.
The Democrats are done.

My daughter's influence is not bad

I am a big fan of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.
That is akin to an Oprah Winfrey endorsement, albeit in a smaller microcosm. A much smaller one. Much, much smaller.
The people handling Miley Cyrus’ career may never let her go too close to that ‘real country’ sound, but what they should do is prevent the child star from becoming a Britney disaster during this cross over period.
Bieber on the other hand is wading through his adolescence with as much cool as a teenager can ever wish to hope for on this planet. And he sounds good.

Here comes the hot-stepper... cold

I’m in a clear minority when I say I believe Barack Obama is not a good president. And I am in a super-miniscule minority when I say, I preferred George W to Obama.
Many a get-together has ended with people sniggering as police had to escort me out of the venue for my own safety.
Successful political leaders are often linguistically challenged (English), poorly dressed and not socially networked.
Especially in developing countries.
But urban India likes its leaders to be well-spoken (English), well- dressed and on twitter.
Which is why middle-class India loves Obama. And the Shashi Tharoor-kind. Pah!