Get your freak on

In the UAE exploitation is de rigeur. Because it’s 50 Deg in summer and it’s Ramadan, one of the country’s zoos has decided to stay open at night – 9 pm to 2 am. Supposedly the animals are much more active and awake because it’s cooler than the day.
I am a genuine night animal, so I went to check it out. Obviously nobody told the lions about this change in timings, so they were fast asleep. However, it was the giraffes that most freaked me out. They are definitely the freaks of evolution. Cute, mutated, freaks of nature.

... and Santa Claus does exist!

To judge how powerful a hold religious beliefs have over the human being, check this out. A top Islamic scholar comes to Dubai to give a Ramadan lecture. He draws a crowd of like 20,000-odd people. He is later asked a question about Adam and Eve. And he says, yes, all of humanity is born of their incestuous relationship. The media quotes him as saying, “In those times it was ok.”
For all the progress and the word I want to use here is ‘evolution’ of humanity, if that is a belief nowadays, then, wow, are we in trouble!

Fast for thought

This is my third Ramadan in Dubai. For the first time I am actually noticing the effect of fasting on those who choose to work regular hours. The first Ramadan here, the food blinded me to these subtle realities. The second Ramadan here, the food blinded me. This time though, Ramadan has coincided with me taking a dietary route to staying alive, which means, I can’t eat most iftar food. So it leaves me much more appreciative of the effort and faith it takes to fast. Especially of my Muslim buddies back home. Oh, how we gorged during Ramzan!

Aus-he-he-he

It’s not often English sports fans get to celebrate. Unless it’s cycling. As an ardent supporter of the English football team, I remember before an England-Brazil world cup game plastering the office with posters that had ‘10 reasons why Brazil would lose’. Michael Owen scored and I thought I was the cat’s whiskers. Then, Ronaldinho embarrassed David Seaman and my posters came back to bite me in the ass.
Now that England have won the Ashes, they can actually afford to have a laugh. And if you enjoy bullies being humbled then click here http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2603081/Top-ten-Aussie-Ashes-jokes.html and laugh along

Divide and rule

I have for some time now been of the view that India should function as a federation of states with total fiscal autonomy, but a common army and an Interpol- type law and order mechanism.
It now turns out it’s not my original idea, but was originally proposed by Mohammed Ali Jinnah and Lord Mountbatten. Who should bring this to light (again, perhaps) but Jaswant Singh and his comments on Jinnah.
The beauty of India is the seamless manner in which it appears as a country inspite of more diversity than any nation on earth. The truth is harsher.

The devil may care... in fact he most certainly does

Watching Metallica ‘live’ is like watching the Devil put on a show. The electricity that courses through the crowd, and by that I mean 150,000-odd people, could light up Texas. When the first chord strikes, and Lars’ stick catches the snare for the first time in tandem with Trujillo’s bass – you want to jump out of your skin and scream, as in, death-defying-blood-curdling scream, as in, every-single-cell-of -your body-now-has-the-vocal-strength-of-a-jet-taking-off scream – FAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK, YEAAAAHHHHH! Then Kirk and James begin. And you are in hell. And you never want to leave. Metallica is the best live act ever.

God knows? Is it time for U2?

Watching U2 ‘live’ is like watching God put on a show. The 360 degree tour is perhaps THE ‘live’ show to catch this year. Bono’s voice, for all his political-speak, defies age and convention to still sound like it did 20 years ago on Boy. The Edge’s brilliance as a musician strikes you as he effortlessly moves between guitar and keyboards, never playing one unnecessary note. And there is Larry and Adam, always overshadowed. However, ‘live’, you see exactly why U2 is a band.
Where now for them? Home. Musically, U2 have peaked and with their latest album, plateaued.

Reader's in-Digest-ion

If you went anywhere near the epithet of ‘English-reading book lover’ in the 1980s in India, Reader’s Digest, at some point, was a habit.
If the publication’s bankruptcy filing is going to be the last word on its future is not known.
I, for one, have watched its editorial demise over the past two decades. It is a classic case for media students – how to lose a global, niche, loyal readership.
Marketing issues aside, the digest went from a genuine human-interest, life-contributing, funny read to becoming a ‘self-help’ manual that over-sold the same type of ‘10-things-to-change-your-life’ products.

Like, Dislike, Agree, Disagree, Amazed

I like Shane Warne – he says 50-over cricket should be stopped now.
I dislike diabetes – especially having it.
I agree with the security personnel who detained Shah Rukh Khan – only I would have detained him because he has the gall to consider himself an actor.
I disagree with the expert opinion that the Indian media is blowing Swine Flu out of proportion – Indian media has no choice (or balls) but to mirror the sentiment of its readership.
I am amazed that the status quo the educated world has settled for is filled with so much of bullshit.

Oh God, have mercy on us

You don’t question God. And at Old Trafford Sir Alex Fergusson is God. If I had the chance though, I would ask God (the overall one), whether lizards were really needed in the world? Like if I ever got the chance I would ask Sir Alex, IF HAVING BERBATOV IN THE TEAM IS A GOOD IDEA!?
But you don’t (get to) question God, do you? You just have faith. And hope. And love. And of these, love is the greatest. Oh, but I digress…
It is going to be a long season for Manchester United fans. Nervous and long.

I'm dreaming of a fourth title in a row

Bookies, as I have discovered after 20 years of mostly-losing bets, are rarely wrong. Therefore, it must worry the pragmatic United faithful that bookmakers had Chelsea as favourites to win this year’s Premier League.
It’s a reminder that loyalty to a football club can never be based only on championships won.
To be truly humbled, visit Old Trafford.
The stadium, the changing rooms… are all devoid of grandeur. They call it the Theatre of Dreams. However, it’s a theatre that provides the stage to fulfill your dream. It does not provide the dream. It’s Manchester United’s secret for success.

When the chips are down(right) rude

Of all the compliments that I can pay England and Ireland, this is the most heartfelt, stomach-felt actually – These are a people that take their chips seriously.
French fries, or as they called in the UK, fries or just chips were not my favourite tid-bit by any stretch of a potato. But then I have only been exposed to assembly line wedges and fingers in India and even in Dubai. In the UK however, I did not come across a single place that did bad fries. When it comes to chips, it’s tongues out to the Brits.

I walked again

I grew up in a ‘walking’ town. As the town became a city, the autorickshaw became the basic mode of public transport. The rickshaw is a lot more convenient than a public bus, and more comfy than cycling or walking. As my family moved up the socio-economic ladder, the rickshaw became affordable. Add to the mix the motorized two-wheeler if you could not afford a car and you will see why, 15 years ago, I stopped walking or cycling.
Which is why I was amazed by the amount I had to walk in the UK just to get around.

Linkin Park

Of all the great bands I heard over the last couple of weeks it was Linkin Park that most impressed me. In a serendipitous stroke of good fortune, I caught a rockumentary on the band, flying in to the UK to hear them. So I wasn’t all at sea when they came on to a damp and cold opening night at the Sonisphere music festival at Knebworth. But boy, do they play music. A sophisticated sound that seamlessly merged the predominant genres of rock and rap with a myriad other musical hues. And most importantly, a great live act.

Piggy in the UK

I eat a lot of pork. Even though it is my third favourite meat, after wild boar (which is truly free- range pork) and beef. Yet, I hardly expected the quality of pork in the UK to be so good.
The meat is lean, fresh, tasty and sits as lightly in your belly as pork possibly can.
I’ve been told Scandinavian pork is better. The Chinese are pretty porky as well. But all I did in the UK was eat – sausages, bacon, ham and pork chops. With good pork sausage the hot dog becomes a dish to die for.

U2 - before, during and after

Well done Bono boy!
An old Dubliner at the U2 concert on August 27 at Croke Park in Dublin.

If you’re gonna sing, just fucking sing!
A Dublin taxi driver sharing his views on Bono trying to save the world.


They would come in scruffy for a pint, like teens that were not very well brought up.
A Dublin taxi driver who lived close to where the U2 boys went to school

I’d like to apologise to the residents around Croke Park.
Bono, during the show, reminding us that no band is too big for where they come from.