Columnitis

To be a columnist you need to be pompous, opinionated in the extreme, totally self-absorbed, and myopic of view. And then, you should know how to write. I’ve had the chance to be a columnist. I know. At the time, when I met a new person and they asked, ‘So, what do you do?’ I would reply, ‘I decide what 100,000 people will read first thing in the morning, what do you do?’ That’s called suffering from columnitis. Sundays is my favourite newspaper day because most columnists are on display. Most fit the criteria, except, knowing how to write.