Memories of my family's 'school morning' concert

Whoever said school years were Wonder Years missed school mornings in my house. My siblings and I were not what you would call ‘morning people’ so, every day there would be what my mum aptly called ‘the concert’. Melodramatic contralto, gnashing snarl Rob Zombie-style, occasional hymn in desperation for divine intervention and not rarely, the definitive crack of the stick on someone’s hide; all this packed into an hour between 7 and 8am, aimed at getting four sleepyheads to school on time. There was no reality TV back then, but my family concert would’ve been quite a watch.